I've recently had over a month off work due to a knee injury. Finally, I thought, the daily grind can't hold me back and I'll explode into full blown productivity mode and accomplish all I've waiting to achieve. Well that hasn't happened and I've spent a lot of this month in pity + self-loathing mode instead. But this post has motivated me to forget all that, forgive myself and simply move on. Tomorrow is another day :) So thanks!

This is just an incredibly wonderful bit of writing and insight. Thanks for it!

"But the fact is that I have Bipolar Disorder and ADHD, and consequently contend with addiction, anxiety, depression, insomnia, poor memory function, poor impulse control, poor focus, periods of listlessness, and sundry other mental health issues."

Me, too, but not the Bipolar (and consequent poor memory function but every other symptom you listed fits with ADHD) -- and Bipolar by itself can be entirely consuming. But I can vouch, boy can I vouch!, for ADHD being debilitating in the extreme w/r/t the matters you address here.

I wish you the best dealing with it all. And I intend to try what you recommend -- I have been deeply at sea for a few years and am struggling so hard to get things back on track.

Nice to read this. Thank you for sharing.

Really nice piece, thank you for sharing.

I'm in my mid forties, and just arriving at a similar awareness; it's one thing to push your limits and be ambitious, but it's another to feel guilty for not measuring up to a self-imposed imaginary (in my case) benchmark that will always be higher than is achievable.

It's OK, you're doing your best, and it is awesome!

Re the phone call thing, the trick I use is to pretend the other person is phoning me. Assuming it's a conversation you want to have and you don't have problems talking to people generally then you can imagine how much easier it would be if they called you. Oh the relief! So I have my first sentence ready in my head (another trick) and while I'm listening to the ring tone I'm imagining it's my phone ringing and I'm just about to answer. Oh, hello... The only downside is that the extra prep adds to the annoyance if you get a machine or no reply but still, you started :-)